While I'm alive
by Cielphantombitch
Summary: AU/Ciel Phantomhive has lung cancer. His best friend Sebastian is upset but he wants to stay with Ciel until the very end. Together they do all the things Ciel wants to do while he's alive./Maybe turns into Sebaciel but I'm not sure yet.


_**A/N: Hello guys! This is the first fanfiction II'm going to publish on here! It's an AU where Ciel has lung cancer and Sebastian is his best friend. I hope you will read my story and maybe leave your opinion! xx**_

 _Chapter one_

Ciel PoV

'Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it. If you want to live you have to die someday. Some people will die earlier and some later. It doesn't matter, though. Just live your life and be happy. Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.'

That's what my parents always tell me. Well, I wish I could do that but how am I supposed to be happy and live my life? I mean, I have lung cancer. How am I supposed to 'laugh as much as I breathe'? I can't even breathe properly myself. It's not my parents fault, I know that, but the feeling of knowing that you will die soon isn't helpful if you're supposed to 'be happy and live your life.' And I'm really sorry for my parents that I'm the cause of their worries but it also wasn't my wish to have cancer. Well, I guess I'm just going to tell the story.

~2008~  
It was a dark night and it was raining in London. I was alone in the house because my parents were visiting some relatives. The door bell rang and I opened the door, starting to smile brightly. My best friend Sebastian was standing in front of it. He hugged me immediately and smiled back at me. "Hey! What are you doing here?" I asked. It didn't sound as if I was annoyed, it sounded as if I was absolutely happy to see him. And I was. We haven't seen each other for two weeks because he had been in Germany with his parents. "I wanted to see my best friend again after two weeks! Is that a crime now?" he asked me, being just as happy as I was. I shook my head and pulled him inside, closing the door. Sebastian and I had always been friends. Or at least I couldn't rememeber a time we hadn't been friends. We almost met every day after school and on the weekends. Our parents already thought we were crazy but we never really cared what others said. And I was really happy to have him. I wouldn't know what to do without him.

When we were standing in the hallway, I looked up to him and smiled again. "It is not a crime but I didn't know you are back again! Why didn't you tell me? God, I missed you so much!" Sebastian smiled and ran a hand through my hair. "I wanted to surprise you! And I missed you too, Ciel!" I hugged him and then grabbed his hand, pulling him to my room.

We both sat on my bed and started to talk about what we have done in the past two weeks, when my chest suddenly started to hurt. I tried to act normal but Sebastian just knew me too well. "Ciel, what's wrong?!" he asked worried and looked at me, taking my face into his hands. "Sebastian, I'm fine, really. I just need to drink something." He immediately gave me the glass from my nightstand and I drank a bit of the water. The pain didn't go away but I smiled. "Thank you Sebastian." I leaned against him and closed my eyes because I was tired. But I didn't want to sleep. Sebastian had just come back and I wanted to spend some time with him. My best friend.

A few minutes later my parents came back home. They walked into my room to say hello and left then again. I laid down on my bed and Sebastian was laying next to me, holding my hand. He'd decided to stay over night. Sebastian fell asleep quickly, he was probably still tired because of the travelling. I smiled softly and kissed his cheek, running a hand trough his hair. "Oh Sebby, I missed you so much..." I whispered, laying my head on his arm. That's how we used to sleep when we had sleepovers. Even though I would have prefered to talk to him a while longer I was glad to just have him with me at the moment.

I tried to sleep as well but my chest still hurt a lot. And suddenly it got worse than that... I couldn't breathe properly anymore. A second later I felt a scratch in my troath. I ran to the bathroom because I didn't want to wake up Sebastian and only moments later I started to cough and couldn't stop. You could probably see by the look on my face that I was shocked, that wasn't because of the pain though. It was because I was coughing blood... I spit the blood in the sink and looked into the mirror when I could finally stop coughing. I was pale and I had blood on my lips.

My father came in and knelt down next to me, looking at me with a worried look on his face. "Ciel, my boy... is everything alright? I heard you coughing." My father had always been protective of his family and he was always afraid when I started coughing because I used to have asthma whenI was younger, just like my mother. I looked at him and bit down on my lip, starting to cry without even noticing it. Dad wiped the tears away and kissed my cheek, hugging me tightly. "D-Dad... I don't know what's wrong... my chest started to hurt and then I started to cough blood... that never happened when I had asthma..." Only now I realized that I was crying and shaking. My father picked me up and held me close. "We're going to the hospital. Right now." I only nodded and looked at my Dad. "Don't... wake Sebastian up. I don't want him to know. Not yet..."

A few minutes later my parents and I arrived at the hospital. After a few more minutes a doctor came and checked my chest and lung. When he was done he wanted to talk only to me at first. I looked at my parents, afraid of what the doctor was going to say to me, then I walked into the room and sat down. Doctor Spears pushed his glasses up with his pencil and looked at me, his expression was serious. "Ciel Phantomhive, I am sorry to tell you that you have lung cancer. This kind of cancer is hard to cure, especially when we find it out this late. Again, I am sorry to tell you that you probably won't live for long anymore. We will try everything to help you though. It will be even harder to help you since you used to have asthma." I was sitting on this chair right next to him, staring down at my hands and saying absolutely nothing.

Doctor Spears opened the door and called for my parents, who came in and sat down next to me. "What's wrong with Ciel, Doctor? Is it the asthma again?" my father asked and I bit down on my lip really hard, shaking my head. I didn't know where all the anger suddenly came from, probably because I was sad that I would have to leave everyone I loved, my parents and Sebastian, and then I got up. "I have cancer! Lung cancer! And I am going to die!" Tears were falling down my cheek and I ran out of the room and the hospital. My father followed me and picked me up, wrapping his arms around me. "Ciel... this is terrible, not only for you, darling. But we will get through this together, okay?" I buried my face in his chest and nodded, then my mother came out of the hospital with an oxygen bottle. "The doctor said you should take this with you and use it," she whispered and kissed my head. I looked up to my parents. "I am sorry for being such a terrible son..." Both of them looked at me now. "You're not a terrible son. It's not your fault, is it? We will always love you, Ciel."

We went back home and my dad brought me back to my room. Sebastian was still sleeping, gladly. After my father was out I laid on top of Sebastian, the hose of the oxygen bottle in my nose. It was tickling but at least I could breathe better than before. A few minutes later I fell asleep, holding Sebastian's hand.

 _ **A/N: Well, that was the first chapter. I know iit's not special and kind of short but the next ones will be better. In the nextchapter Sebastian will find out! Please leave your opinion, guys! xx**_


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